Some applications ask more specific questions than others. There is no set formula to follow in shaping your response, only choices for you to make, such as whether you should write an essay that is more autobiographically focused or one that is more professionally focused.
The applicant provides two clear reasons motivating the student to pursue graduate study: She then supports those two reasons with examples and analysis. The applicant gives thoughtful analysis of the advantages she has been afforded that have allowed her to study music so extensively.
We get the sense that she is insightful and empathetic—qualities that would add greatly to any academic community. This is a strong, serviceable personal statement. And in truth, given that this for a masters in music composition, other elements of the application like work samples are probably the most important.
However, here are two small changes I would make to improve it: I would probably to split the massive second paragraph into separate paragraphs.
Did she think about them during hard practice sessions?
Is she interested in composing music in a style they might have played? More specific examples here would lend greater depth and clarity to the statement. Are you ready to compose…your personal statement?
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Guaranteed This statement is clearly organized. Almost every paragraph has a distinct focus and message, and when I move on to a new idea, I move on to a new paragraph with a logical transitions.
This statement covers a lot of ground in a pretty short space. I discuss my family history, my goals, my educational background, and my professional background. In addition to including information about my personal motivations, like my family, I also include some analysis about tailoring health interventions with my example of the Zande.
This is a good way to show off what kinds of insights I might bring to the program based on my academic background.
My public health recommendation: Grad School Personal Statement Example: For twenty-three years, my grandmother a Veterinarian and an Epidemiologist ran the Communicable Disease Department of a mid-sized urban public health department.
The stories of Grandma Betty doggedly tracking down the named sexual partners of the infected are part of our family lore. Grandma Betty would persuade people to be tested for sexually transmitted diseases, encourage safer sexual practices, document the spread of infection and strive to contain and prevent it.
Indeed, due to the large gay population in the city where she worked, Grandma Betty was at the forefront of the AIDS crises, and her analysis contributed greatly towards understanding how the disease was contracted and spread.
My grandmother has always been a huge inspiration to me, and the reason why a career in public health was always on my radar. This is an attention-grabbing opening anecdote that avoids most of the usual cliches about childhood dreams and proclivities.
This story also subtly shows that I have a sense of public health history, given the significance of the AIDs crisis for public health as a field.
Recent years have cemented that interest. In Januarymy parents adopted my little brother Fred from China. If I were to take another pass through this paragraph, the main thing I would change is the last phrase.Overview of the Personal Statement Personal statements are sometimes also called "application essays" or "statements of purpose." Whatever they are called, they are essentially essays which are written in response to a question or questions on a graduate or professional school application form which asks for some sort of sustained response.
Some graduate programs will ask you to write an additional essay about an issue within your chosen field. However, your personal statement should be about you as an individual.
Write about issues only if they relate specifically to your personal experiences. The supervisor (faculty researcher), and then the Graduate Progra. Personal statement structure. Your personal statement should follow a logical structure, where each paragraph follows on from the one before.
Capture the reader's attention with an enthusiastic introduction covering why you want to study a particular Masters. Use the concluding paragraph of your personal statement to summarize the main points of the essay and provide the reader with a strong vision of how you will use the knowledge and experience that you will gain during graduate studies.
Writing a Personal Statement for Graduate Legal Studies When applying to graduate school, your personal statement is a critical representation of your personality, passion and commitment, and it’s of equal importance to your academic record.